Okay so this thread game is pretty fun:

You read the previous person's wish and you grant it but set a condition that basically ruins it. Then you make a wish of your own for the next person to grant and ruin. Example:


FIRST POST:
I wish I won a million dollars

SECOND POST:
Granted, but you live in Canada and have to pay 70% of it for taxes.
I wish it was sunny outside

THIRD POST:
Granted, but you have a one way ticket to Seattle.
I wish ...

Anyway, I think you get the point, so here's my wish:

I wish I could break 80 at the golf game tomorrow morning. :)

Granted, but you'll be playing a 9-hole executive course

I wish I could take an around the world vacation and not worry about paying for it

Granted, but you'll have to teach your horse to swim first.

I wish I had a private jet to make my commutes easier.

Granted, but you've just been assigned to a new 3-year project on Mars.

I wish my car had not been under a tree during an ice storm.

Granted, it was stolen just before the ice storm started. :rofl:
I wish I had signed up for CUE three months ago when the classes were open.

Granted, but you can't go because you're going live with 9.0 that weekend.
I wish my Lawson stock would shoot up to $18.

Granted, but they just de-commisioned 9.0 & will introduce 10.1.1.5 at Cue

I wish I can find time to squeak in a round of Golf in SanDiego.

Granted your tee time is 6:00am Dec 25, 2087

I Wish it wasn't 14 degrees outside.

Granted. Now it is -10 degrees outside.

I wish I wasn't the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

Granted, but you are her dead ex-husband. (all too soon)
I wish I could have my very own gourmet chef like they do at the white house.

Granted. but you have the same IQ as the president.

I wish I had appendages like Inspector Gadget

Granted, but all calls made from your gadget hand phone are charged international roaming rates.

I wish that my wife's idea of saving money didn't involve a sale at Kohl's

Granted but she just purchased the buy real estate with no money down program from the TV infommercial.

I wish the Chicago Cub's would win the World Series in 2007.

Granted, but the devil now owns your soul (Say hi to Kurt Warner. You two now have something in common). And don't forgot to watch out for the droppings from the pigs flying overhead.

I wish that Lawson would open up it's certification program to people who are not employees or employees of Lawson partners.

Granted, but you have to take the prerequisite test at CUE this year. (TRUE!!!)

I wish it were warm enough to go sailing this weekend.

Sorry to ruin the game. But Dave what are you reffering to when you say you have to take the prerequisite test?

Please excuse the intruption in the game, carry on. Maybe you can start a different post on that topic Dave. - Thanks

Granted but there is no wind AT ALL! Happy sailing.
I wish someone would buy my house already :) !

Granted - But it was the state using it's eminent domain powers so you only got 1/3 it's real value.

I wish I knew Lawson as well as schroncd!!!

Granted - but you have no life outside your computers!!

I wish my sailboat were larger so I could take it to Bermuda.

Granted - but on your way to Bermuda you seen a bigger sailboat and you still weren't happy.

I wish people spent more time and energy doing something constructive for their communites, and wasted less time on the Internet.

Granted but your "community" is now a nonsmoking 3D chat room and your screen name is SuperHottie54!

I wish I could invent the next superfad so I could retire early!

Granted, but the "superfad" is "super-anti-materialism." You help people to realize that they can live with less. Unfortuneately, the sheep, err... your followers overdo it a bit and take on lifestyles that make Franciscan monks look downright frivolous. Happy retirement.

I wish I could hit the lottery.

-rw

Granted but the Lotto was for $3,000,000 and you'll have to share it with 1,000,000 other winners.

I wish there was no religion!

Granted but now instead of people killing each other in the name of thier God they are killing each other for all of the other reasons they always use. Land resources race.

I wish this game had stayed on a positive beat.

Granted, but it's bound to take that turn again at some point...

I wish I could get some Jimmy Buffett tickets!! :bow:

Granted but they are back row obstructed view and they cost $1,000 EACH. ALSO THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO YOU THINKS THEY ARE JIMMY BUFFET AND SINGS ALONG OFF KEY REALLY LOUD.

I wish I could take a nap every afternoon.

Granted, but you develop some sleeping disease and not only sleep every afternoon but every day, all day.

I wish I was a Oscar Mayer Weiner.

Granted. But you're deathly allergic to mustard, ketchup, relish, onions, chili and wheat bread. You can't be around anybody using any one of these things which includes just about every sporting event, party, picnic. etc.

I wish my dog could talk.

As you wish... But you soon find out that dogs pay far more attention than they have ever been given credit. In nect to no time, the seedier details of your life leak to the National Enquirer and the Globe. On the upside, your dog makes $500 per article.

I wish knew "then" what I think I know now.

Granted, but in using that knowledge you accumulate a jail sentence that should leave you eligible for parole in 6 more years.

I wish I could play basketball.

Granted, but at 3'9" you don't make much of an impact.

I wish I was hiking the appalachian trail.

Granted. But you're at Mt Katahdin in Maine, there are 2,175 miles to go .... and it's February 1st.

I wish I could commute to work in NYC down the Hudson River in my own private hovercraft.

Granted but on your way to work the department of Homeland Security mistakes your personal hovercraft for a Terrorist attack vehicle and calls in an airstrick on you.

I wish I could work only one day a week without any cut in pay.

Granted. But your new job requires you to be the test subject for all of the Fear Factor stunts and you spend that whole day being spun in circles while eating disgusting crawly things. It takes the other six days to recover.

I wish my car could drive itself to work while I ate breakfast.

Granted. And every morning, as you wave to your car through your kitchen window, while eating your Grape Nuts in your pajamas and robe, your car thinks to itself, "Is this all there is to life? I wish I was an MG-TD. I wonder what that Corolla over there looks like without her paint? And what the *$LL, I am worth premium unleaded!"

I wish we all could just get along.

Granted WE all get along great. But THEY are out to get us so lets go kick their @ss before they get the chance to kick ours.

I wish I had something clever to say.

Granted but nobody hears it.

I wish Lawson would speed up the TA170.

Granted. But you won't get it until apps version 10.02.

I wish my time machine had worked correctly next Tuesday.

Granted, but you lost the keys yesterday

I wished my flights would not be delayed

Granted they are no longer delayed they are cancelled.

I wish donuts were considered health food.